Being A Confident Parent

 

 

Most of us hope that by becoming confident, stable parents we can become a positive influence on our children's lives and prevent any self-doubts that may arise in children when they are unsure about themselves and lack self-confidence. Being a confident parent means raising confident children who grow up to become productive adults!

Being a confident parent means having very realistic expectations about children, how they behave and being able to anticipate their reactions to certain problems and situations. When you are prepared for "what might happen", you are better able to make the kinds of decisions that will have a positive impact on your child. This will significantly improve the parent/child relationship.

 

NURTURING THE PARENT/CHILD RELATIONSHIP

It is important to work on consistently providing the same type of environment and responses for children so that they can learn about their parents and their expectations and discipline. When things change rapidly from day to day, a child cannot adapt to that environment, and will begin to act out in order to get attention or try to regain control.

The following are some tips from The Child Development Institute that may be helpful to parents in laying the groundwork for a strong, nurturing relationship with their children:

Try to set aside time on a regular basis to do something fun with your child.

Parents should never disagree about discipline in front of the children.

Never give an order, request, or command without being able to enforce it at the time.

Be consistent, that is, reward or punish the same behavior in the same manner as much as possible.

Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable.

Agree on how to respond to undesirable behavior.

Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if he or she performs the undesirable behavior.

Make it very clear what the undesirable behavior is. It is not enough to say, "Your room is messy." It should be explained in specific terms, exactly what is meant.

Once you have stated your position, and your child attacks that position, do not keep defending yourself. Just restate the position once more and then stop responding to the attacks.

Look for gradual changes in behavior. Do not expect too much, too soon.

Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal.

Remember that your behavior serves as a model for your children's behavior.

Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch, or something tangible such as food, money, a favorite toy/game/outing.

Information provided by Summit Medical Center Psychiatric Program
Hermitage, TN
April, 2001

Reading Suggestions

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka

 

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