Cracker Barrel Wants You …

To Have Healthy Boundaries

"Long hours and flexible schedules" – in general, that’s what the restaurant industry requests of employees. You make a commitment to this because you like the company, enjoy the money, or just have fun do it. You are able to do this because of your strong work ethic and high-energy personality but what happens when you extend yourself too far? You start to spend less time with friends and family, neglect self-care, and feel run down. You may even start to develop more "rigid" boundaries where you say no to everything and you lose your flexibility.

Having healthy boundaries requires that we take a look at our environment and decide how to gain control of our time. Take time to create and/or evaluate your boundaries. Do you agree to do things and then regret it because you are overwhelmed? How much overtime can you work without sacrificing personal commitments to yourself and others? Have you said yes to tasks that clearly aren’t your responsibility only to find yourself resenting your supervisor? The hard part of setting boundaries is telling other people what's important to you in a way that doesn't compromise the relationship.

Once established, you must begin maintaining your boundaries. Doing so will allow you the time and energy to be available when you are needed the most. When setting boundaries for the first time, issues may arise with peers and supervisor who are not accustomed to your new behavior. One way to soften this issue is to ask for help in determining priorities. For example, when working on one project and approached by a supervisor to get another project completed by the end of the day, find out which one is more important. In our business and most others, projects and priorities change. Maintain your boundaries without feeling guilt or being the bad guy. Here are examples:

• Say no in a positive, professional manner – "I would like to help you out but I scheduled this vacation day a month ago because I really need a day off. Maybe I could help you next week."

• Be realistic – "I am currently working on this other project that is going to take me the rest of the day. I really can’t work that into the schedule today."

• Negotiate - "I can help you finish that report if you can do the first part."

It is important to make eye contact when maintaining boundaries and get straight to the point. There is no need to explain or rationalize why. If they try to object, just keep repeating yourself. – "I am not going to be able to do it today." It is friendly but firm. That way you can keep from overextending yourself and doing a mediocre job. Once you have more time you will be able to commit yourself fully to the task providing more quality service to the company.

For more information on how to develop and maintain your own boundaries, please call the EAP at 1-800-688-6330.